It seems (as if) I can’t eat my favorite sandwich without getting a glob of mayonnaise on a shirt I definitely copped from the housing fair. That being said, when you’re low on money and the will to live, a McChicken or better yet, a good ol’ fashioned nap is a solid option for dinner. The star of the show is none other than Ms. Breaded Chicken Patty, a blend of dark and white chicken meat… a mixed kid, if you will. Industrialized poultry operations aren’t my scene, but We have no choice but to stan a biracial Queen, albeit a byproduct of American consumerism and corporate greed. Though irresistibly tender and Doja Cat Juicy, Ms. Patty is nothing without her beloved Wheat Bun, accompanied with lettuce shredded so thin, it wears low-rise jeans to your birthday plans. And without further ado, the McChicken is made whole (and distinctly American) by an exorbitant amount of mayonnaise that I would go so far as to consider… suggestive. When this godforsaken stay-at-home order is lifted, consider opting for a McChicken at your local McDonald’s, and please, for the love of Ronald, stop googling “How to sell feet pics” every time Wells Fargo hits you with another low balance alert.
Unsolicited Takes 