Friday, December 3rd, 2021
1:15PM EST: Leave to Hartsfield-Jackson Airport.
3:45PM EST: Flight departs.
5:58PM PST: Flight arrives in Portland, OR.
6:30PM PST: Leave airport, uber to AirBnb.
6:45PM – 7:15PM PST: Check-in to Airbnb, let host know you’ve checked in, set up shop, and refresh makeup and hair.
7:15PM – 7:35PM PST: Walk to ‘Tacos Pa Ell@.’
7:35PM – 8:15PM PST: Grub!
8:15PM – 8:25PM PST: Walk to Alberta Street Pub and check-in with ticket sent to inbox.
8:30PM PST: Check-in and enjoy the live music: Black Bulb Megafest – Confirmation email sent to inbox.
When you’ve had enough, uber back to Airbnb location, and get a good night’s sleep for fuck’s sake.
Saturday, December 4th, 2021
7:30AM PST: Wake up and get ready to seize the motherfucking day.
8:30AM PST: Walk to ‘Tin Shed Garden Café.’
9:00AM – 10:15AM PST: BRUNCH – I made a reservation for one at 9:00AM PST.
10:15AM – 10:25AM PST: Walk to ‘Electric Lettuce Dispensary.’
10:30AM – 11:00AM PST: Do what you need to do, call your loved ones, etc.
11:00AM – 11:10AM PST: Walk to ‘Psychic Sister.’
11:10AM – 11:30AM PST: Pick a crystal that speaks to you, then pick up a creativity crystal and a separate Christmas gift for [REDACTED].
11:30AM – 12PM PST: Walk to ‘Crafty Wonderland,’ and buy Christmas gifts for [REDACTED], [REDACTED], & [REDACTED].
BUFFER
12:30PM PST: Order uber to Portland Japanese Garden.
1:00PM PST: Portland Japanese Garden Reservation begins at 1PM, check-in with reservation confirmation sent to inbox.
1:00PM – 2:00PM PST: Explore the garden.
2:00PM – 2:15PM PST: Head to Umami Café.
2:15PM PST: Umami Café reservation begins at 2:15PM, w/ confirmation sent to inbox.
2:15PM – 3:00PM PST: Tea Time!
3:00PM – 3:10PM PST: Head to Gift Shop.
3:10PM – 3:25PM PST: Browse to your heart’s content, but note that the gift shop closes at 3:30PM PST.
3:25PM – 3:35PM PST: Head towards exit, and request uber back to AirBnb location.
4:00PM – 5:30PM PST: Drop off goodies at AirBnb location, refresh & revitalize – Sun sets at 4:29PM.
5:30PM PST: Uber to ‘Afuri Ramen & Dumpling.’
5:45PM – 6:45PM PST: Grub!
6:45PM – 7:15PM PST: Find the ‘Keep Portland Weird Sign,’ and the ‘Portland, Oregon White Stag Sign.’
7:15PM – 7:30PM PST: Check out Voodoo Doughnuts!
7:30PM – 7:45PM PST: Walk over to Powell’s City of Books.
7:45PM – 9:00PM PST: Explore the largest independent bookstore in the World!
9:00PM – 9:10PM PST: Head over to McMenamin’s Al Den – Live Music and Comedy Club – $5 cover
9:30PM PST: Comedy Night at Al Den’s Hosted by Brandon Lyons and Chris Johnson
Afterwards If you’re up for it, head over to Dixie Tavern, get your drink on, and uber home at a respectable time.
Sunday, December 5th, 2021
7:30AM PST: Wake up, get dressed, secure all belongings, and clean AirBnb per host instructions.
8:45AM PST: Walk to Proud Mary Café.
9:00AM – 10:00AM PST: Enjoy a cup o’ Joe, & look mysterious at Proud Mary Café.
10:00AM PST: Order Uber to Airport.
12:40PM PST: Flight departs.
8:09PM EST: Flight lands in Atlanta.
Unsolicited Takes 