Friday, December 3rd, 2021 1:15PM EST: Leave to Hartsfield-Jackson Airport. 3:45PM EST: Flight departs. 5:58PM PST: Flight arrives in Portland, OR. 6:30PM PST: Leave airport, uber to AirBnb. 6:45PM – 7:15PM PST: Check-in to Airbnb, let host know you’ve checked in, set up shop, and refresh makeup and hair. 7:15PM – 7:35PM PST: Walk toContinue reading “A Weekend in Portland”
Author Archives: unsolicitedtakes
Fyre Festival
Aside from the United States’ mishandling of the coronavirus, the Fyre Festival (2017) is the biggest shitshow of my time. This sorry excuse for a music festival landed Fyre Media CEO Billy McFarland behind bars for two separate counts of fraud. McFarland and business partner, Ja Rule, promised a once-in-a-lifetime experience amongst up-and-coming talents, self-proclaimedContinue reading “Fyre Festival”
Hooters
Time and again, Hooters of America Inc. (est. 1983) has provided a safe space for men to chow down on specialty wings and enjoy the view, that is, the young, attractive, scantily clad women who comprise the operation’s waitstaff. The enterprise centers its identitty around female sex appeal and the male gaze. The “Hooters Girls”Continue reading “Hooters”
Pyramid Schemes
I don’t know which Arbonne representative needs to hear this, but you’re not a #GirlBoss… You’re in a pyramid scheme. I’ll give you a few moments to let that sink in. Now that everyone’s present, let’s dive into what constitutes a pyramid scheme, how to spot them, and why I hate them enough to blogContinue reading “Pyramid Schemes”
Club Penguin (Rewritten)
Albeit a necessary step in the right direction, today’s sociopolitical climate is almost entirely centered around social inequality, a topic so important yet so grave in nature that it drains us of an outlet to cope with the times. No need to fret! Whether you’re in the market for (PG-13) serotonin or simply nostalgic forContinue reading “Club Penguin (Rewritten)”
Elon Musk
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Elon Musk lives in my head, rent-free. Yeah, he’s a multibillionaire, which makes him problematic by default, but I can’t help but find myself drawn to the story of his life. He was born in Pretoria, South Africa in 1971 and became a child prodigy toContinue reading “Elon Musk”
The Game of Mafia
During my formative years, my parents dragged me to dinner parties, where I was expected to mingle with other prepubescent, acne-ridden teenagers for hours on end. After the awkward small talk subsided, then came the question of how (in God’s name) we would pass the time. A moment of unwavering silence passed before a braveContinue reading “The Game of Mafia”
The McChicken
It seems (as if) I can’t eat my favorite sandwich without getting a glob of mayonnaise on a shirt I definitely copped from the housing fair. That being said, when you’re low on money and the will to live, a McChicken or better yet, a good ol’ fashioned nap is a solid option for dinner.Continue reading “The McChicken”
Jeb Bush’s Presidential Campaign
Jeb never wanted to run for office, but with his entire immediate family at the forefront of 21st century American politics, the pressure was on. He ended his failed presidential campaign in the spring of 2016, but his cultural impact remains relevant and deserves attention. We all remember what we were doing when sweet “Jeb!”Continue reading “Jeb Bush’s Presidential Campaign”
Dunkin’ or Starbucks?
Today’s tea: Starbucks’ customer service is inarguably superior, but at what fucking cost? Five whole dollars for your morning pick-me-up. As a finance major that doubles as a broke ass bitch, believe me and my March credit card balance when I tell you that shit adds up. En el otro mano, the same drink atContinue reading “Dunkin’ or Starbucks?”
Unsolicited Takes 